If you are an avid user of the internet like myself, you probably have parents or older relatives on social media who make embarrassing posts or comments day in, day out. Luckily, I made a series of guides instructing the older generations on how to conduct themselves on these websites. This guide will be covering Facebook.

Talking to Your Relative(s)

Sitting down and having “the talk” might be harder than you think.  Old-timers normally don’t like being told what to do, especially from a “snot-nosed little twerp.” But, you do have two powerful weapons to counteract this mindset.

Your first weapon is facts. Bringing up past posts that have gone awry shows that they do not have control over online social situations. These cases usually come in the form of posts with multiple, often hateful, comments from varying members of your family who are also on social media. Explain to them that social media is an unlit match that can be used to start a fire or warm a kettle. Sh*tposting (making a worthless post on a message board, newsgroup, or another online discussion platform) doesn’t get you anywhere. Now, your other weapon’s effectiveness will vary from person to person. That weapon being “reason.”

Facts and reason are two sides of the same coin. Reason has the capability to have a lasting impact on people, making sure they don’t become repeat offenders. The use of reasoning here is incredible sound but will not work for all individuals. It goes a little something like this,

“Social Media is a new technology. The groups that can best utilize a new technology are the ones that grow up with it already in existence. In turn, members of these groups should be listened to and considered experts.”

It’s a simple concept to understand, but it depends on your audience’s willingness to accept reason and facts. If you live in America, you can see where this might become troublesome.

Facebook’s Unwritten Rules

• Do not Like your post

Liking your post can best be compared to humblebragging. Nobody wants to see yourself repeatedly pat yourself on the back and Liking your post is no different.

• Do not post embarrassing stories or pictures of anyone but yourself

What should go without saying but often doesn’t. People may not want those embarrassing pictures or stories to spread to every Tom, Dick or Harry on the internet. And Two, Facebook is used by companies to assess possible job candidates. Posting an image of your drunk niece at a wedding when she was 16 is a good way to keep her unemployed forever.

• Do not tag irrelevant people to posts

Unnecessary tagging relates to the rule above but this action is perceived as annoying and confusing. Would you tag your brother in a picture of you and your family on vacation? Of course, not unless they were there with you.

• Do not comment your opinions about politics or religions unless a post is specifically asking you to do this

Imperative for the older generation to understand, there is nothing wrong with discussing these topics on Facebook if it’s one of two possible situations. One, a person is specifically asking you for your opinion. And two, the question is being posed in a private chat and not public for every friend of a friend on Facebook to bear witness. A Religious or political view as the adage goes is like a penis. Having one is okay. Being proud of it is okay. But don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around.

• Identify and ignore posts from instigators

Instigators or trolls are people who just want to see the world burn. They love chaos, and love bringing out the racist side out of every grandparent.

• Only share light-hearted or contextually relevant content from trusted sources

This includes sharing articles, videos, quotes—anything you didn’t create. The best way to avoid causing trouble is posting about things you enjoy and not what you hate. Sports, fashion, the Kardashians. Facebook is a SOCIAL media website after all.

• Post as much as you like, if posts are about your general interests

Nobody likes that person who only talks about themselves and doesn’t care about others. A good way to be more sociable is to post something you like and pose a question for general discussion. Example: Post a highlight from yesterday’s baseball game and ask people what they thought of that final call.

• Do not post nonsense on companies’ pages

This concerns the much older members of our community who don’t understand how Facebook pages work or why companies have their own pages to begin with. Let them know that they can ask for things pertaining to the business such as products and services, but I guarantee Wal-Mart has no idea where your cat ran off to 15 years ago.

• Do not over comment on family activities

I cannot stress this enough people. Explain to your family that they do not need to comment on EVERY SINGLE post you or another family member makes. Keep things contextual. Did your son just get a new job? Feel free to comment and tell him you’re proud and offer some support. But, if that same son says he is going to the movies tonight with a girl he likes, don’t comment on how handsome he is or anything like that. Just read it, and keep scrolling. You are more than welcome to message him directly and ask him how his date was but don’t make it known to the entire world.

• Your status should only be used to convey what you are currently doing, not what you are currently feeling

Statuses should only be used to state what you are currently doing or plan on doing later. If you need to talk to someone, do it in private. You see, social media is a great way for people who crave attention, to get it. They do this by posting statuses about their current mood, whether happy or sad and expecting others to flock toward them in support. They say they’re upset about a recent death in the family to garner the affection of strangers. These people have no interest in the individual who died. They care only about themselves and getting noticed. If you need to talk about problems or situations like these, message people directly asking for help or create a group chat to open discussion.

Finally, the last and most important bit of advice that you can give to an older family member on social media is this. Just ask. Let them know that if they are ever unsure about what to post or if they should comment that they can come to you for help. This may seem counterintuitive, but come on. We are all social animals. We all need instructions from time to time. Did your dad give you a bike growing up and let you figure it out for yourself? Of course, not. And this is no different. Understanding social media’s use and purpose are necessary. It is a constantly changing environment with new, unwritten rules created every day and a lot of people just can’t keep up. So, stop the older generation from making fools of themselves. And save teaching them about memes for another day.